The Role of the Parent in Supporting a Highly Able Child

“Raising and nurturing a gifted child can be an exciting and at times daunting challenge”

                                                                                                              - Linda K Silverman

While all parents value the abilities of their children, some are concerned with labelling their child as ‘gifted’. Others can put excessive pressure on their children, magnifying their individual abilities and looking for reasons and/or persons responsible for any perceived failure of the child to live up to parental expectations in terms of performance.

Being considered 'highly able' can bring with it a sense of labeling and expectations, which some students feel compelled to meet. These expectations can be quite daunting, just as ignoring a student’s ability can lead to lack of opportunity.

Key issues for parents to consider, as highlighted by Davis and Rimm (2004), include:

·         Behavioural management

·         Double messages or poor communication

·         Manipulation of parents by the child

·         Competition and Pressure

·         Sibling Problems

·         Peer pressure

Above all, it must be remembered that highly able students are still children and they need love and parental involvement in their lives, yet appropriate guidance so that they become autonomous, responsible and resilient youth. Being a good listener and communicating with them in an open and positive manner is advantageous to them achieving their best in all facets of life.

Parents of highly able students need to encourage their child to ask questions, to seek answers, to expand their horizons of interest and to ensure that there is a minimisation of pressure, so that their child can lead a well-balanced life.

The raising of a highly able child is challenging and one of the most important things to consider is respect. The parents of a highly able child need to respect their uniqueness, opinions, ideas, dreams and their perceptions, expectations and personal motivations. Parents need to be responsive and flexible, and be aware of what asynchronous development means for their child; the brighter the child, the greater the likelihood of asynchrony and potential vulnerability – particularly on an emotional level. 

Therefore, parents who are aware of the inherent developmental differences of their children can – and usually will be – prepared to be strong advocates for them, which is both proper and respectful.  The way in which this advocacy is conveyed, however, must also be proper and respectful.  Very little can be achieved in an atmosphere of overly aggressive and/or dismissive behaviour which negates what others may think, observe or believe. An open and honest dialogue, where all perspectives are considered and valued, is the best way to realise a meaningful and suitable plan of action that places the best interests of the student first above all other considerations.

For educators, it is vitally important to realise that the parents themselves are under pressure; they want their views respected and, above all, to be heard, supported and validated.  Ensuring that a relationship of mutual understanding and respect is established between parents and teachers is the foundation upon which all meaningful student support is based.

If you, as a parent, are curious as to whether your child requires additional support in their learning, the first person to consult is the classroom teacher.  It is through consultation with the teacher that students are recommended to the Gifted and Talented Support Teacher (GTST) for further observation, evaluation and subsequent pathways for support and opportunity as warranted by student readiness, intrapersonal fortitude and measurable performance.

For further information regarding the referral process for highly able students, click here.